Dear Reader,
Some of you enquired when is the next post coming… It’s true, lately, I haven’t been able to keep up with my own target of sharing a post per week. Thanks for checking!
Not to give any excuse: the past weeks have been busy (way) beyond what I like my life to be and brought their shares of conflict. I have been struggling to keep the big picture and manage my energy.
So I could have written about anger, demotivation, lost energy, unmet values…. but you see, all these are simple tricks the mind plays against us when it loses the big picture and when the body gets too tired.
What’s the point of adding oil on the fire? It only solidifies the negative thoughts which we put so much care and practice in letting go.
“I don’t think… Then you shouldn’t talk, said the Hatter”. L. Carroll
So I didn’t write not to pollute you with the wrong thoughts and words (ok and I literally didn’t have the time nor energy either but retrospectively I am glad I followed that little voice inside telling me: Don’t you go negative!) .
Silence has virtue…
Here is what I learned this week:
- Nobody is willingly doing us any harm. It’s only a matter of perspective and priorities. You know it, but let’s restate in case: don’t ever take anything personal (especially when you think that IT is SO personal).
- Conflicts of values are of great learnings. It’s not easy to go beyond “I am right – you are wrong” when you feel injustice or when your fundamental needs are not met. But dig deeper: is it really a matter of value?
- What the inner chatter of the mind reveals is really precious: Does the chatter call for revenge? Recognition? Is the situation really unjust? What is your underlying fear? Silence helps us read the chatter and brush it with an irreverent smile. What remains, is then the real core of the conflict purified of emotional and judgmental blabla.
- Agreeing to disagree without judgment has great virtue. We can’t change anybody’s attitude, set of beliefs or priorities. But we can cut the poison in the relationship. You know you’ve won your battle when you truly have compassion for the person who is supposedly causing you harm.
- Speaking no words in these moments when we most feel like shouting is of tremendous effort. Still a very good ambition!
- Lastly, during a tempest there is one priority: REST.
On this intermediate note, I leave you have a good night sleep and look forward to sharing with you!
PeeledOnion is self-help and personal development blog for all brave souls who want to take ownership of their destiny and make happiness a reality everyday! Your comments and suggestions are welcome to improve the ideas and tips shared!
Filed under: Mind and soul, relationships Tagged: big picture, conflict management, disagreement, Energy, happiness, Mind, mind chatter, PeeledOnion, personal development, Silence, Virtue 
